BY FAR the majority of persons agree that family life and happiness are related. In one survey, 85 percent of the men said that they “feel that ‘family life’ is very important to a happy and satisfied life.” Yet you may know of many men who have chosen to get divorced. More and more women, too, are opting for divorce to end marriages marked by boredom, conflict or oppression.
We cannot change what others do. But we should be interested in improving our own family life, especially the relationship between husband and wife. We might all well ask: ‘How is this relationship in my home?’
The Creator is the Originator of the family arrangement. (Ephesians 3:14, 15) http://biblize.com/search?q=Ephesians+3:14,+15&q_scope=
He provides practical advice that has helped many, many couples to enjoy success in family life. That same advice can benefit you.
In the opening portion of the Bible, we find a record of how God began the first human family. Some time after Jehovah God had created the first man, Adam, He said:
“‘It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.’ And Jehovah God proceeded to build the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman and to bring her to the man. Then the man said: ‘This is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. . . .’ That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.”—Genesis 2:18, 22-24.http://biblize.com/search?q=Genesis+2:18,+22&q_scope=
Notice that the first family did not result from two persons just deciding to live together. God authorized the marriage and they were joined in a permanent union. Before the highest Authority in the universe, Adam accepted Eve to be his wife.
When a man and a woman take the steps required to form a valid and recognized marriage, they publicly commit themselves to each other. (Genesis 24:4, 34-67; http://biblize.com/search?q=Genesis+24:4,+34-67&q_scope=
Matthew 25:1-10)http://biblize.com/search?q=Matthew+25:1-10&q_scope=
No such commitment is made when a couple simply lives together without benefit of marriage. Instead, their relationship is one that the Bible terms “fornication” or “adultery.” (Hebrews 13:4)http://biblize.com/search?q=Hebrews+13:4&q_scope=
Even if they profess to love each other, their relationship will likely suffer in time because it lacks the firm commitment of marriage that the Bible shows to be crucial. For example:
A 34-year-old woman explains: “Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but the commitment of marriage makes me feel more secure. . . . I love the comfort of having admitted to ourselves and the world that we intend to stick together.”
A 28-year-old teacher shared his realization: “After a couple of years, I began to feel as though I were living in a void. Living together [without marriage] provided no future orientation.”
In a study of the matter, sociologist Nancy M. Clatworthy found that couples who made a commitment by getting married, but who had not lived together before marriage, expressed “a greater feeling of happiness and contentment.”
The Bible account of the first marriage can also help us to avoid problems involving parents and in-laws. Such problems, according to one marriage counselor, are among the most common. Yet before there could be any problems with parents and in-laws, the Bible said of the first marriage: “A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife.”—Genesis 2:24.
Naturally, most of us love our parents. The Bible even encourages us to provide them with material aid in their later years, if it is needed. (1 Timothy 5:8; http://biblize.com/search?q=1+Timothy+5:8;+&q_scope=
Deuteronomy 27:16;http://biblize.com/search?q=Deuteronomy+27:16;&q_scope=
Proverbs 20:20) http://biblize.com/search?q=Proverbs+20:20&q_scope=
But the Scriptures emphasize that, upon marrying, your mate becomes your closest relative. Your husband or wife becomes the first one to love, care for and consult.
This view discourages a married person’s ‘running home’ to parents if problems arise. And it helps parents to appreciate that, upon getting married, their children “leave” and form independent families, even if custom or finances require their living near or with the parents for a time. It is fitting for children to value and perhaps draw upon their parents’ wisdom and experience. (Job 12:12; 32:6, 7) http://biblize.com/search?q=Job+12:12;+32:6,+7&q_scope=
Yet what Genesis 2:24 says is a caution against parents’ trying to direct or monitor the lives of their married children. Yes, applying this Bible counsel can contribute to marital success.
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