Avoid the Dangers of Flirting

 If we are to maintain our chastity, another danger we need to beware of is flirting. Some may insist that flirting is innocent, harmless fun between members of the opposite sex. Admittedly, there is a time and place for amorous behavior. Isaac and Rebekah were observed “having a good time” together, and it was evident to onlookers that they were not merely brother and sister. (Genesis 26:7-9) However, they were husband and wife. Expressions of affection between them were appropriate. Flirting is another matter.

 Flirting may be defined this way: to signal romantic interest when there is no real intention to marry. Humans are complex creatures, so there are no doubt countless ways to flirt, some of them very subtle. (Proverbs 30:18, 19) Hard-and-fast rules, then, cannot really address the matter. Rather, something more elevated is called for—honest self-examination and the conscientious application of Bible principles.

 If we are honest with ourselves, most of us will likely have to admit that when we sense that someone of the opposite sex has a romantic interest in us, we feel flattered. That is natural. But do we flirt in order to elicit such interest—just to give our ego a little boost or to evoke such a response in another? If so, have we considered the pain that we might be causing? For example, Proverbs 13:12 says: “Expectation postponed is making the heart sick.” If we deliberately flirt with someone, we probably do not know just how that person is affected. He or she may develop expectations about courtship and even an eventual marriage. The ensuing disappointment can be crushing. (Proverbs 18:14) To toy with the feelings of others intentionally is cruel.

 It is particularly important to guard against flirting when it comes to married people. To signal romantic interest in a married person—or for a married person to show such interest in someone outside the marriage bond—is wrong. Sadly, some Christians have held the mistaken belief that it is acceptable to cultivate romantic feelings for members of the opposite sex other than their mate. Some reveal their innermost concerns to such a “friend,” even confiding private thoughts that they do not share with their mate. As a result, romantic feelings have blossomed into an emotional dependency that may undermine and even destroy a marriage. Married Christians do well to remember Jesus’ wise warning about adultery—it begins in the heart. (Matthew 5:28) Let us, then, safeguard the heart and avoid situations that could lead to such ruinous results.

 Granted, it is not easy to remain chaste in today’s immoral world. Remember, though, that it is far easier to maintain your chastity than to regain it once it is lost. Of course, Jehovah can “forgive in a large way” and is able to cleanse those who truly repent of their sins. (Isaiah 55:7) However, Jehovah does not shield those who commit immorality from the consequences of their actions. The aftereffects may last for years, even a lifetime. (2 Samuel 12:9-12) By all means, maintain your chastity by safeguarding your heart. View your clean, chaste standing before Jehovah God as a precious treasure—and never let it go!